10 hours of AEP down... and what feels like 400 left to go

Having now completed our first two classes: one three hour evening session and one eight hour day session, I can honestly say that I have turned into a terrible student... and I think I annoy my husband.

I am not exactly sure what I was expecting from an adoption education program but, I have to be honest, it is sort of gloom and doom. Maybe, without realizing it, I expected it to be more like prenatal classes where it is "Yay! We are all growing our family... and there is just a little prep work to do." It decidedly is NOT... more like "Sooo... you want to adopt... well, here is EXACTLY what you are in for..." I would be lying if I did not say it is a little daunting. And listening to someone read from your textbook and watching outdated American videos hardly makes for an engaging learning experience. I learned today that I can doodle and still listen at the same time... and that my husband "poo poos" this sort of classroom behaviour.

Our schoolmates are diverse and I am surprised to see so many prospective adoptive parents who already have their adoptive children in the home taking the course. Those of us who do not have children all seem to be interested in older children as part of sibling groups - hence not having to wait several months to get into the program.There is only one couple out of nearly 20 people who do not currently have children; this was a surprise!

It is interesting to see couples in "school" together - we all seem to have one thing in common - one of us is definitely more vocal than the other. As a high school teacher, it is amusing to see the similarities in interactions of students of all types. As break time rolls around, there are awkward introductions and small talk as people size each other up. Groups quickly form as we break for lunch. Through comments - "we all sat and prayed at the restaurant" - and introductions it is pretty clear that nearly all of the other couples in our class actively participate in a religious organization, and we realize that - aside from all being adoptive parents - we have very little in common with these people. Logically, I know that this is no big deal but as the person going through an evaluation process, I can't help but feel like we "should" make friends or there will be some sort of negative notation in our file. Maybe we should join a church...

An entire day learning about attachment, grief and loss is.... truth be told, hard to describe. Nothing fun or happy or joyous about it. This session was like a mean lady came along and popped all my beautiful balloons which were filled with my ideas about adopting children. A necessary evil is the best way to describe it. At the end of the day, there is a reason these kids are looking for forever families... grief and loss is a part of the package... it is just hard to remember that there will also be days with sunshine and lollipops when you are left holding a handful of burst balloons... at least I hope so.